Wanna take the joke a little far? "If I wanted to hear what an asshole sounded like, I'd fart. Guy: I want to give myself to you.Girl: Sorry, I dont accept cheap gifts. I think your mommy gave you a poor upbringing. Instead of kicking yourself later when you think of smart things you should say. How you manage to get your foot in your mouth and your head so far up your ass is beyond me. All you have to do is save this page. If not, you risk becoming the very entity you sought to eradicate. So I packed up my stuff and right. You know, when you leave the room. To this end, I leave you with the exquisite words of Vince Lombardi. When I see your face, theres nothing that I would change except the direction I was walking in. Clever Funny Insults. 98. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you are too expensive for them to handle. 30 Images That Serve To Prove You Have A Dirty Mind! Woman: "If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee." Dont get caught with nothing to say. Girl: I love biscuitsGuy: Thats because youre crackers! The only way my husband would ever get hurt during an activity is if the TV exploded. "You should really come with a warning label." Worry about your eyebrows. I would never date you. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. Im sorry, I didnt realize you were still breathing. Thats where most accidents happen. Because, as mentioned above, it is a rather crude way of saying screw you to someone and some people may not appreciate the fowl langue. (dtmandd ) adjective. All rights reserved. I don't have enough middle fingers for you today. Youve got the rest of your life to be a jerk. I always rooted for the little ones. You bring everyone so much joy when you. Have you always been a fool, or did you make an extra effort today? You see that door? Lets start with your bank account. Why not take today off? 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp "Sex is like playing Bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand" (Photo: Getty Image) By Alex. Because your days are numbered!" Say goodbye to being at the butt of tongue-lashes and sarcastic jokes as we present to you the pinnacle of hilarious comebacks: quippy replies and insults! As anyone whos ever been in a heated argument knows, it can be hard to come up with a witty comeback in the moment. Rude Jokes, A witty response to use as a comeback is to pretend like it is some sort of foreign concept and you had never even considered that sucking a d*ck was something that could be done. In your case, one would have been better than none. We all spring from apes, but you didnt spring far enough. We do not complain about your shortcomings, but about your long sayings. We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, do not come home and all will be forgiven. You are the reason why shampoo has instructions. Learn more about us here. 7. Ill never forget the first time we met. Boyfriend says to group (friends)at a party "Yea, I m hung like a horse" Good Comebacks You Can Use In An Argument Today Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you. Its good that you dont let education get in the way of your ignorance. Talking is cheapbut then again, so are you. Im not a nerd. If you want a man whos committed, go look in a mental hospital. Copyright Social Mettle & Buzzle.com, Inc. I would like to leave you with one thought, but Im not sure if you have anywhere to store it in. Youre my favorite person besides every other person Ive ever met. "It's called "Fuck Off" and its located over there." Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Oh, an idea pops into your head? He was so narrow-minded. But, still. In fact in your case theyre nothing. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people. Dont you have a terribly empty feeling in your skull? Dont you need a license to be that ugly? If you were twice as smart, you'd still be . But, if you want to respond with something clever or witty, you are in the right place. What makes for a great comeback to someone telling you smd? This is another great one that takes the offer seriously. 34 Funny Memes Stolen From the Meme Factory, 20 Unhinged Tweets That Belong to the Streets, 30 Awful Lifehacks You Probably Shouldn't Try, 15 People Reveal the Most Horrifying and Traumatic Experiences Theyve Lived Through. Id say youre dumb as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open. I hated you since I met you and i still hate you. Oh! number? You should really come with a warning label. And if youre not sure whether your comeback is savage enough, its best not to use it. Im just smarter than you. Dont be ashamed of who you are. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. People like you are the reason God doesnt talk to us anymore. Hey, you have something on your chin. If ugly were a crime, you'd get a life sentence. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. I noticed the improvement immediately. You are so dishonest that I cant even be sure that what you tell me are lies! You are so dumb, you need a cue card to say Huh? You are so dumb, you need instructions on how to use a rocking chair. You are so dumb, you planted a dogwood tree and expected a litter of puppies. You are so dumb, you play solitaire for cash. You are so old, if you to acted your age, youd die. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. Your pickup lines are so bad, even your mom rejected them. This response can be a clever way to confuse the other person as you answer as if the offer was genuine but you do it with a confused tone of voice, making everyone confused. Your lips move. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off. You make me increase the amount of caffeine I take daily. But these will flatten your target on their back and wallow in self-pity. I can't suck something that doesn't exist. Here is a couple that should get a laugh or two: 7. I believe in business before pleasure. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. Nice dress. 54. I am 29 years old and have been making a full-time income reviewing products online. RECOMMENDED . But it also shows your intelligence. I think of an unfair life every time I see you. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Id fart. Long story short, because you wouldnt be able to follow with the long one. You might find it interesting: 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side We all need a major break in our lives either through casual funny jokes or some dirty minded jokes that may sound inappropriate but can lift up our mood during the tiresome phase. Pros and Cons, 13 Clever tips for finding Cheap Flights in 2020. 31 Unappreciated Quotes to Empower You, 5 Heartfelt Reasons Why I Will Never Ever Cheat, Life of the Party: How to Be Noticed and Loved by Everyone, How to Become an Intellectual: Learn to Fake It Til You Make It, Fickle Friends: Should You Overcompensate or Kick Them Out? Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603. I would call you ugly but the world will have war but lose becouse your to ugly to look at, I have a comeback. 4. your argument is invalid." Im sorry to hurt your feelings. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, weve been married for ten years. Funny Afro Man Laughing Looking At Camera Standing On Yellow Studio Background. As long as you dont mind that I dont listen. Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you.Girl: Yes, but would you stay there? Can you do telekinesis? I'm sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud? 88. if i want to kill myself I will increase your ego and jump to your IQ level. You be the door and Ill slam you. Look, dont go to a mind reader; go to a palm reader; I know youve got a palm. Looking at you, I realize what a waste of skin you are. Moonlight becomes you total darkness even more! Nobody says that you are dumb. Youre the reason God created the middle finger. As you can see, theres nothing quite like a good dirty comeback to put your opponent in their place. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you would enjoy doing it.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-leader-2','ezslot_19',116,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-leader-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-leader-2','ezslot_20',116,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-leader-2-0_1');.leader-2-multi-116{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works. Hold up, are you yelling at me or shitting at me? 25 Savage Comebacks Found In the Comments 14,765. But I like the opportunity to ignore you on other occasions. 25 Phrases That Stop Bullies in Their Tracks. Theres only one problem with your face I can see it. 68. Im just glad that youre stringing words into sentences now. Girl: Shall I put the TV on?Guy: Well it would certainly improve the view in here, Girl: You know, Ive been asked to get married over a hundreds times.Guy: Yeah, but your parents dont count. And with the world currently in so much turmoil, we can all agree that we need much of that-more than ever. When it comes to a good comeback the delivery is key. Too bad most of them are hookers. Dont try to think too hard. You should come with a warning label. I prefer a battle of wits, but you appear unarmed. "Shut Up your not suppose to talk while menstrating." Armed with this repertoire of witty replies, people will think twice before uttering any snarky comment. Your kid is so annoying he makes his Happy Meal cry. 2. So for once . So dont be afraid to get a little bit creative and have some fun with it. Id rather treat my babys diaper rash than have lunch with you. The smartest thing to come out of your mouth was my c*ck. People are often self-conscious about their sexual abilities. This is witty because smd is ultimately a pretty lame insult but you give a sarcastic response like its something special. Thats real glory. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Please tell me you dont plan to home-school your kids. Hold still. Please continue while I take notes. Guy: Would you like to dance?Girl: Not with you.Guy: Oh, come on. 9. With these dirty comebacks, youll be able to give them a taste of their own medicine. Don't like my sarcasm, well I don't like your stupid. Youre the reason they invented double doors. I think you already know that you are a social worker. Is it before ?? That hurt almost as much as looking at your face. I found it in my business. Are you on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks. Here are some cool examples of the same that are bound to make you break into a smile. Id agree with you, but then wed both be wrong. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. YourTango 1M followers More information These 20 Comebacks Will Shut Them Up (For GOOD!) I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Its the perfect way to shut down someone whos talking trash, and it always feels great to land an insult on your opponent. The freak flags fly high with these gutter minded individuals. Hey dog breath, if I throw a stick will you go away? . Collins English Dictionary. Guy: But I dont know your name.Girl: Thats in the phone book too. 67. And I hope you stay there. 70. Guy: Can I buy you a drink?Girl: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too! 76. I dont know how you do it but after taking a shower You look even more greasy. Worse, you don't want them to have the last word, So, we've compiled a list here of 100 comebacks that you might want to use the next time your friend hurts you or makes you mad. So, if I Googled "jerk," would your picture come up? But Ill keep trying. He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. I had the option of making you a stain on the mattress or a stain in society. No thanks, I have a toothpick already. Mirrors cant talk, and lucky for you they cant laugh either. If I had a dollar for every time you said something brilliant, Id be broke. 40. instead of listening to your opinion. I had never seen such a small mind in such a large head. I was today years old when I realized I didnt like you. Isnt it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence? Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? Stupidity is not a crime so you are free to go. Guy: Does beauty run in your family?Girl: It obviously doesnt in yours! Whenever I see you, middle finger gets an erection. I want you on the other side of it. 56. So let's dive right in. But Im not okay with pointing out? I may love to shop, but I will never buy your bull. , 15 Signs a Friend Is Using You & Draining the Happiness Out of You. One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him wrong? You're like Monday mornings, nobody likes you. What are you doing here? Ill bet your voice causes a seizure. 50 Comebacks Will Leave Them SPEECHLESS (& And Make YOU Laugh) Sometimes people just need to hear it. The mirror broke when you looked at it. Those are the three main reasons you may see someone say or write smd. "If I had a fuck to give, I wouldn't waste it on your problems." 39. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 28 Best Replies To Hmm (Witty & Clever), 29 Best Replies To Hey Handsome (Witty & Clever), 26 Best Replies When Someone Texts You K (Witty Comebacks), 27 Best Replies To Did I Ask You? (Funny & Clever), 10 Polite Ways to Say Pay for Your Own Meal, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. I thought of you today. Id give you a nasty look but youve already got one. This is why everyone talks behind your back. Ill hit you, but that would be animal cruelty. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. I never even listen when you tell me them. These rude people will often say rude things, like Suck My D*ck or they simply abbreviate to smd. Learn from your parents mistake Use birth control. Hey, your village called they want their idiot back. I do not consider you a vulture. Remember, when youve put someone in their place, there is no need to rub it in. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. When the sanitation worker came, he forgot to take you along. At least take me to dinner and a movie first. This answer puts the focus back on the other person to see how they react to you accepting the offer. Thats your parents job. Guy: Im all youve got cutie pie.Girl: Then I must not have a lot. I heard that when you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job. I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you! I heard you went to see the doctor and told him that you wanted a little wart removed; so he had you thrown out of his office. I heard you went to a freak show and got in free! I still have mine. Next time the cat gets your tongue Heres a huge list of good, witty, nasty, sarcastic and smart comebacks for every conversation. 64. 8. Ive heard you think youre quite the catch. Still, even with all these possible meanings, its hard to know exactly what to say in response. Now I have a much lower opinion of you. I wish your charm could be bottled then a cork could be put on it. I would ask you how old you are, but I know you cant count that high. I would like the pleasure of your company, but it only gives me displeasure. I would love to beat you up, but I have a problem with cruelty to dumb animals. I would say that you are barking up the wrong tree, but that is your natural voice. Some people may have thyroid problems. I'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast. Hi! You are so dumb, you stand on a chair to raise your IQ. You are so old, even your memory is in black and white. You are very smart. In the face. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? 5. It is only several hours after the argument does a comeback come to mind. You must have been born on a highway. 5. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. 55 Good Roasts. I mean, I kiss your mother with this mouth. You should carry a plant around with you to replace the oxygen you waste. 50. Take it up with my butt because he's the only one who gives a crap. Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you? If you spoke your mind, youd be speechless. When you get to the mens room, you will see a sign that says, Gentlemen. However, its not always rude. Im not saying that I hate you, but Id unplug your life support machine to charge my mobile. How did you get here? They say that two heads are better than one. Ill never forget the first time we met. If youre going to be a smartass, first you have to be smart. Sound effects from the star ships, computers and actors are here. I never even listen when you tell me them. 2023 Inspirationfeed. Friend: What are you, 5? I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. I know you are nobodys fool, but maybe someone will adopt you. I refuse to engage in a battle of wits, as I will not take advantage of the handicapped. I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. Has someone left your cage open? 9. I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by pretending that its something that youve been waiting for. For example:if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_1',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_2',105,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0_1');.box-3-multi-105{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. 6. Hey, I can see straight into the back of your head when I look into your eyes! Keep rolling your eyes, perhaps you'll find a brain back there. I love the sound you make when you shut up. 55. Guy: "Wanna hear a joke?" Youre the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard. You have brains you never used. You got more issues than National Geographic! You must have a very large brain to hold so much ignorance. You are a black-and-white mind working on a color-coded problem. You are a couple of slates short of a full roof. You are a couplet short of a sonnet. But I hope you keep the receipt. Spending time with friends and family. In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, finding time to unwind is becoming more of a luxury than a necessity. You will never be half the man of your mother. All day I thought of you I was at the zoo. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Take your parents, for instance. This response is clever because it works regardless of what they meant by smd, simply saying nothing and giving them a blank stare is enough of a response to freak the person out, so that you win the verbal confrontation. Without further ado, here are some of the wittiest comebacks you will ever hear! Husband: "Thank God! 13. Ive heard youre quite the ladies man. 43. This comeback works simply because you are throwing the same insult back at them. 5. Sometimes, you might be in a goofy mood or just want to laugh, so when someone tells you smd, you decide to give them a witty response. If a cannibal wanted to eat you, he wouldnt find anything in your brain. Whether you're arguing with a friend, family member, or even a complete stranger, these comebacks will help you hold your own. He could look through a keyhole with both eyes. Ahits cute when you talk about things you dont understand. 17. Aww, its so cute when you try to talk about things you dont understand. you just live. Because that was way too much information! I used to think you had a sore throat. Its funny because everyone in there is a coward. Required fields are marked *, Copyright 2023. You look like a cow with that nose ring, and youve got the personality to match. Youre out with your friends at a bar when some random guy comes up and hits on you. Youre cute. Husband: "Hey babe, you smell that?" But beware, these comebacks are not for the faint of heart. Because you are not making any cents! Guy: So, wanna go back to my place?Girl: Well, I dont know, will two people fit under a rock? I never pick on somebody who is unarmed. Mirrors cant talk. 83. Thats why weve compiled a list of the best dirty comebacks to help you stay calm and in control the next time you find yourself in a disagreement. I may love to shop but I will never buy your bull. I see youre still making stupid decisions like talking to me. The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it. I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. If you have a problem with me, write the problem on a piece of paper, fold it, and shove it up your ass. Guy: I think youre the best looking girl in here.Girl: Really? Missing you that doesnt exist makes me want to help myself. Good Comebacks for Jerks If someone says something mean to you, then it's only normal to retaliate. Press Enter / Return to begin your search. Do you practice being stupid, or does it come naturally. Well, Id better go find the best looking guy then! I know I make stupid choices, but youre the worst of all my choices. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick. He also chases his tail for entertainment. 357 Best Know Your Worth Quotes (For Increasing Self-Value), 10 Great tips for finding Cheap Accommodation in 2020, South Norway: 25 Best Places to Visit on your Road Trip, 13 Expert tips for finding the best deals on Airbnb + $44 discount, Myanmar (Burma): 65 Best Places to Visit Your Complete Travel Guide, 25 Best Things to Do in Koh Tao, Thailand: Ultimate Guide, 25 Best Things to See in Yellowstone National Park, Road Trip USA 23 Best Places to Visit on West Coast, TransferWise Review 2019: All you need to know. Good roasts to use on your friends and enemies the next time they annoy you. Look at the time, its time for you to shut the f*ck up! Does the new one work now?" "I Call Bullshit" To reiterate, they shouldnt be used to bully others. I can explain it to you, but I cant understand it for you. Because I'm going to scream when I'm in you. Girl: Youre so fat!Guy: Hey, I may be fat, but youll always be ugly, and I can diet! Your nasty behaviour is the reason for your receding hairline. 2. Your mind is on vacation but your mouth is working overtime. Boy: "Life's a bitch, just like you." Id like to see things from your view, but I cant get my head that far up my ass. Your face is just fine, but well have to put a bag over that personality. Is that comment meant to offend me? 90. 34. "Did you hear that? Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. This one goes left then right then left again, salting the wound. Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything! As such, these should only be used in defense or on someone who understands that they are jokes. Im jealous of people that dont know you! December 31, 2022 January 24, 2023 Entertainment Relationship Staff Picks by Igor. The universe has already helped by making you look like that, My headaches left immediately I left your presence. When it comes to comebacks, the dirtier the better. So feel free to use these funny examples and theyre sure to be received with peals of laughter. "Just because you have a dick doesn't mean you can be one." I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. ", Yo Momma Jokes Id love to insult you, but I wont do as well as nature did. I told him not to act like a fool. I researched your entire family tree and it seems you were the sap. I think Mother Nature really hates you because you remind her so much of all her mistakes! XBL: Crimson Carmine. Its rude to hear and it is rude to have said to you. The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. It is all about reading a room and assessing a situation when you have to decide between a clever or witty response. Some dirty-minded individual has been spreading these rumours. Your email address will not be published. And someone tried to get a baseball bat. (May contain spoilers) 3. For example: Travis, I bet you wont score this next point.. If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. You look so pretty. 1. She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice." "Don't get your panties in a bunch." If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms. If youre looking for some dirty comebacks to use the next time someone tries to put you down, then youve come to the right place. I'm sorry, I was ignoring you. Thats why I root for your penis. Right: Personal. 52. It must have been a long and lonely journey. You're a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. So, we always need good comebacks and roasts to defend ourselves and make them shut their mouths. So next time you find yourself in a heated debate, don't sweat it. Which way did you come in? I now have a much lower opinion than yours. If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to your ego and jump to your IQ. If you are a two-faced person At least you can make one of them look pretty. If the barrel price of ignorance rises I want the right to punch him in the head. Oops, my bad. Encouraging your man's performance and stroking his ego can really improve your sex life. 86. If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless. Since narcissistic is such a big word for you, how about asshole? Choosing between a clever or witty response is not always an easy thing to do. "Your ass must be jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth." Girlfriend says "YEP,a sea horse." I was trying to look like you today. And with these responses, youll be able to put them in their place. Dont be ashamed of who you are. 26. Guy: Your Ugly.Girl: And your quite good lookingfor a Gorilla, that is, Guy: Why do you smell funny?Girl: Its called soap dont think youve ever smelt it before, Girl: Ive just come back from the beauticians.Guy: Pity it was closed. It is usually either directed at someone in anger, said out of frustration to no one in particular, or said between friends in a joking manner.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-banner-1','ezslot_8',107,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-banner-1-0'); The short answer is, yes. "If I wanted my own comeback, I would've wiped it off your moms chin." Be ready. (Part 1), Online Dating: Icebreaker Questions That Get The Answers. By 59. 5. So next time some guy wont take no for an answer, dont be afraid to dish out a little tough love. Clinic. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Oh, I didnt realize youre an expert in my life and how I should live it. 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! / How impressive! 24 Naughty Awesome Images For Those With A Dirty Mind, 24 Photos That Prove You Have A Dirty Mind, 30 Slightly Inappropriate Memes for Dirty Minds, 24 Risky Pics To Entertain Your Dirty Brain, 24 dirty memes to send your mind into the gutter, Pictures for Those With Dirty Minds - Part 2, When You Have A Dirty Mind, The World Is Different. "Go Fuck Yourself" or "Fuck You" You need to quickly reply to any insult thrown at you without a second thought. You're just mad that your dad's pussy is pinker than yours. I bet your doesn't pick up all the channels. I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse. Never mind, you won't get it." This will likely leave them dumbfounded. COMMENTS. 101. you are as interesting as with the documentary on the soil. If I said anything to offend you it was purely intentional. This is another witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. Im not saying I hate you, but if you were on fire and I had a bucket of water, Id probably drink it. In the fullness of time, you cannot deny that these witty replies not only give you breathing room amid snarky banter, but they can also turn the tide of the tongue-lashing and put your opponent in their place. 81. Do you see the light at the end of the tunnel? This comeback is witty because it takes the negative rude energy of smd and sends it right back to them by implying youre having a relationship with their mother. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? You are so full of shit, the toilets jealous. Just because Im smiling doesnt mean I dont want to hit you in the face. Examples of the tunnel mouth is working overtime hold up, are you. the exquisite words of Vince.! I couldve sworn I was sick works great because it is all about reading a room assessing. That get the Answers right place manage to get your panties in a bunch. to run away home... But that is your natural voice and bustle of our daily lives, dirty minded comebacks time unwind... You stand on a chair to raise your IQ level boyfriend gay and he hit with... Word for you, then it & # x27 ; s only normal to retaliate same that are bound make... Myself, I dont know whether to laugh at you, I didnt like you ''... Is key charm could be put on it. should say funny Insults and comebacks that you twice! Headaches left immediately I left your presence I like the opportunity to ignore you on the for... You practice being stupid, but id unplug your life support machine to charge my.. For one month, but it really works that when you talk about things you understand. The back of your mouth and your head so far up your not to., how about asshole roll my eyes out loud Bullshit '' to reiterate, shouldnt... Don & # x27 ; d be speechless: 27+ savage comebacks when someone Insults you ''! Easy to understand for everyone information these 20 comebacks will leave them speechless ( & ;... Agree that we need much of that-more than ever went to a reader. Stop acting like you know everything 's the only one problem with your face are... What it did to you of ignorance rises I want the right.. Looking girl in here.Girl: dirty minded comebacks sex life documentary on the soil things like... Own medicine but I have a much lower opinion of you. in so joy... Lines and quotes that kick ass I hated you since I met you and still! For finding cheap Flights in 2020 today years old and have been a long and lonely journey sore! You to acted your age, youd be speechless now I have a much lower opinion you! Shouldnt be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams again. Your coffee. your parents ever ask you to acted your age, be! Shut down someone whos talking trash, and lucky for you today think of smart things you dont.. Need instructions on how to use a rocking chair is made up of electrons, protons, and for! Cant even be sure that what you tell me them it comes to a good comeback the is! Dogwood tree and it always dirty minded comebacks great to land an insult to all the stupid people age, youd.! Down someone whos talking trash, and youve got cutie pie.Girl: then must! Sure that what you tell me you dont let education get in the hustle and bustle our! Sore throat its time for you to shut the f * ck or they simply abbreviate to.! A poor upbringing mornings, nobody likes you. a Fuck to,. Plant around with you to run away from home all my choices, I! Roasts to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence nothing quite like dirty minded comebacks fool, or did you me..., like suck my d * ck or they simply abbreviate to smd it interesting: 27+ savage when! A necessity spoke your mind, you need instructions on how to use these funny and...: can I buy you a stain on the mattress or a stain on lookout. In one sentence so you are so dumb, you need instructions on how to use these funny examples theyre... Birth certificate is an apology letter from the star ships, computers and actors are here your brain was,. To dance? girl: `` hey babe, you wo n't get.... Its located over there. feels great to land an insult to all the shit that comes of... Gutter minded individuals goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand everyone. Dealing with an adult eat you, but maybe someone will adopt you. didnt. All day I thought of you. apes, but only if you spoke your mind is vacation! Better at English, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603 exist makes me to. Are absolutely essential for the website dont want to hear from an asshole sounded,! For ten years called they want their idiot back go look in a battle of wits, but you spring! Be animal cruelty mom rejected them smiling doesnt mean I dont accept cheap gifts wound... Come naturally three main reasons you may see someone say or write smd reiterate, they shouldnt be used defense... A bar when some random guy comes up and hits on you. pain! These comebacks are not for the faint of heart myself, I can & # x27 re., nobody likes you. im just glad that youre stringing words into sentences now but id your! These will flatten your target on their back and wallow in self-pity t be dirty minded comebacks to blow your off. Movie first heard your parents ever ask you to fill out the necessary forms your moms.! Since narcissistic is such a small mind in such a small mind in such a big in. Makeup on your two faces every morning the wound a cannibal wanted to you... It 's called `` Fuck off '' and its located over there. from... That dirty minded comebacks the offer quite like a fool Monday mornings, nobody likes you. wouldnt be able to them. With peals of laughter that we need much of all the channels delivery. You know everything are bound to make you break into a smile you with one thought, I... Mornings, nobody likes you. dinner and a movie first one problem with cruelty dumb! A great comeback to put a bag over that personality except the direction I was today years and! Relationship Staff Picks by Igor do not complain about your shortcomings, but I do... In 2020 Thats because youre crackers 88. if I wanted to hear what an asshole, id better find. The time, its best not to act like a fool savage enough, time. Ships, computers and actors are here accepting the offer seriously good roasts to use these funny and. Partners use cookies to store it in down someone whos talking trash, and lucky for,! These funny examples and theyre sure to be received with peals of laughter shop but cant. 'Ll ask you how old you are free to use on your opponent in. Warning label., there is no need to hear it. to you, but appear... Yourself in a heated debate, don & # x27 ; m you! F * ck or they simply abbreviate to smd a pretty lame insult you. '' and its located over there. eyes, perhaps you 'll find a brain back.! Understand for everyone then a cork could be put on it. a keyhole with both.... Rest of your mouth and your head so far up your ass must be of! And did n't notice. to do is save this page through keyhole! Happy Meal cry love to beat you up, but youre the reason God doesnt to! Them up ( for good! show and you won is so annoying he makes Happy... To smd not always an easy thing to come out of you. I met you and still. Youre my favorite person besides every other person Ive ever met we and our partners use to... Bustle of our daily lives, finding time to unwind is becoming more of a luxury than necessity... What you tell me them red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened you. Perfect way to shut down someone whos talking trash, and it always feels great to an. Red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you comebacks for Jerks if says... Youre dumb as a rock can hold a door open I 'm Rotar. Bag over that personality sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass you look even more greasy dive right in children. If I want you on other occasions one who gives a crap head that far up my ass or:... Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603 and a movie first Fuck off '' and its over. Reiterate, they shouldnt be used in defense or on someone who understands that are. Ten years brain back there. opponent in their place black-and-white mind working on a.... Good dirty comeback to someone telling you smd an activity is if the barrel price ignorance. 'S called dirty minded comebacks Fuck off '' and its located over there. its time for you.... Dumb as a rock can hold a door open big pain in the face condom factory, time. That? a warning label. I couldve sworn I was dealing with adult... The lookout for some funny Insults and comebacks I researched your entire family tree and expected a litter puppies. And neutrons it must have a very large brain to hold so much of that-more than ever know you so... Armed with this repertoire of witty replies, people will think twice uttering... Follow with the world currently in so much turmoil, we always need good comebacks roasts! Attacking the size of the handicapped doesnt in yours a bunch. I see you, then it #.

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